“four”
it’s been four months today.
days like this, you push your tongue all the way back into the back of your mouth, against the roof like a dam, because you are trying not to swallow because if you do, the mechanism that connects pain to throat-closing, swallow-inducing crying will trip and your eye cups will spill.
today i spent not showering but going to the grocery store & typing up memory cards from the visitation so i can have them if i go anywhere & trying to write & looking up at an optometrist with an awful toupee & eating pizza & we are baking for a funeral reception because food is always the answer, even when you can’t swallow.
