"better"
i made a point of asking after the betty crocker cookbooks that mom gave you one christmas. i know they’re in the house somewhere, but i didn’t take them back to england with me. i was walking through the hospital today thinking about them. why did i want them? did i forget to take them with me or did i just not care? if i didn’t care, then what was the point of asking for them back instead of just leaving them at ashley’s? the only thing i could think was that i was jealous you’d had them in the first place.
on our birthdays, we always got presents, both of us. if you got a teddy bear, i got a teddy bear. if i got my ears pierced, you got your ears pierced (although that might have been more because of the tantrum you threw, not equality). most of the time, i thought your bear was softer or cuter. i thought you had more fun playing with it because of these things, but it was more that i was too busy fuming.
